Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Great Wizard of Ask-Again

Here's a tale about an all to common situation in my line of work.
Virus infections cause by naughty browsing and a lack of protection.
Keep in mind that this story is based on true events*, and that some of the names
have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.

*Based on separate events that may, or may not, could or could not have happened.

------------
Once upon a time,

I met a gray haired wizard who had a computer that magic could
not fix. Of course I used my magic to repair his computer.
When the wizard came to pick it up, he was very displeased with the
repair bill. He harshly asked me "What did you do to it?" I pleasantly replied "I used a secret concoction to banish the demons that resided in the machine" He abruptly replied "Demons!, how could I the great Wizard of Ask-Again, have gotten these so called demons!" "It's not possible!" With a slight smirk I explained to him "Well.... *Ahem*, you know those sites you visit. You know the *I whisper* naughty ones. Umm... Yeah, that's how" With a shocked look on his face he yelled "Now that's just not possible!, I've done nothing of the sort!" I cut in and said "Hey, I call it like I see it" The Wizards face was beet red, and he was clearly irritated. He continued his rant "YOU DARE ACCUSE I, THE GREAT WIZARD OF ASK-AGAIN OF DOING SUCH THINGS!"
I waved the Wizard over to his computer and I turned it on. I then proceeded to show him an example of his misdeeds. While showing him how I knew what was on his computer I slyly raised one eyebrow and chuckled "Whoa! See look at this, *ahem* I then proceeded to read aloud the sites he visited..... Hot Naughty Witches...., Wild Wild Witches......, Witch Hunting....., and last but not least.... Witch With A Switch. Turning my head I quickly make eye contact with the wizard, quite clearly he's been caught read hand.... errr.... never mind. Ummm.... He's clearly nervous.
I chuckle and lightly rib the ol' Wiz with my elbow and say "Witch with a switch, someones been having fun with their magic stick". The "Great Wizard of Ask-Again" Abruptly handed me the money he owed. I explained to him that to avoid this problem in the future he needs an amulet of anti virulent for his computer. Needless to say, he grabbed his computer and vanished as quickly as possible.

The Winding Road

Welcome to "My Life as A Computer Technician"

Now is the time to decide if you want to continue. I'm warning you that
being curious like Alice will make you the Mad Hatter.

If you're still reading you must be pretty brave, or crazy like me.

Welcome to my world
The point of this blog isn't to say that I know everything, nor is it to say that those
that don't understand or get along well with technology are stupid. I'm the type of person
that doesn't believe that there are any stupid questions. Well....... it depends, but there generally aren't. The point of this blog is to allow you a humorous glimpse into my life in tech support.
The good, the bad, happy, and sad, or all of them felt at once!

I'm usually told that "People are frustrated when they come to me for help", well let me say that they aren't the only ones who are! I'm just as frustrated to know they need help. Remember, some of the people I deal with could use some mental help. I'm not the only one who is saddened by the fact that I can't solve all of their problems.

I've also been told that "People come to me for help and advice". Hmmmmm.......
Most days I think I'm a politician, because they come to me for "answers". Some people like the right answer, and some like to hear the "right" answer. If they don't like either, then more than likely they love to start debates with me about subjects they don't understand.

Most days I'm left wondering about what I'm really supposed to do. Will I be a therapist and listen and provide counseling? Will I be a doctor and figure out and treat a problem?
Will I be a politician and tell the people what they want to hear?
Or will I just put on my straight jacket and enjoy the rest of my week inside my cozy 8x8 padded cell. Hell, I can't decide I'll just do everything and call it a day.